The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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