at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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