I'm lost and stupid without you.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
