Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
