Whod you bang
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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