I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
