In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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