Having a random hookup so left but love u
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize