I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
