She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
