I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
