Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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