Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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