Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
