I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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