The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
