It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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