During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize