I wish I could punch you in the face.
look no pants
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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