we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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