I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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