I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
