It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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