Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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