No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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