DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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