If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Houston, we have a blender
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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