I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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