i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
