Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My bed smells like the plague
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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