He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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