I hate your face
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
