guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i believe in u and ur pee
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