Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
