Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Randomize
