Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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