Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize