jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish i was in the wii world.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
