that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize