So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
