pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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