I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
