I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize