Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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