I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
