I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
