we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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