I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
