So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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