I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
