at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
