A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
