Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
