they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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