Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
