i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
