Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
