Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
