i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
