If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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