I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
everyone is single if you try hard enough
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
