I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
