At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
