You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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