the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
