Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
