I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
