he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
