Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize