you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
