last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize