If that was your dad, he is hot
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Last time i carry you out of a forest
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
