Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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