the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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