I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
