It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
