If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
