Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
