So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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