Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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