i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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