Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ketchup is God's man juice
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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