i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize