so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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