i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
