This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
